News of the Past

May 2013
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Long ago News

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Does Terpsichore Tapdance?

By Barbara Ardinger

[Snip] The Muses are the daughters of Mnemosyne, Memory, and were raised on Mount Olympus. I still remember visiting a nice mainstream metaphysical church where one of the members was introducing the speaker. This member kept referring to “MEEnosyne.” Who is that? I kept asking myself, and when the speaker mentioned the . . . → Read More: Does Terpsichore Tapdance?

Denny’s Celebration of Baconalia Has Pagan Roots

By Susan B. Xenu

Anyone who watches TV, and who doesn’t? How else will we know where to spend our hard earned christian dollars? Wil have noticed that the restruant of Denny’s has a new sell the celebrates Bacon.

[Snip] But alas! My investigative research has proven that there is an ancient pagan festival at . . . → Read More: Denny’s Celebration of Baconalia Has Pagan Roots

Monotheism: Who’s Your Daddy?

By Tess Dawson

I casually flip through the bumper stickers at a metaphysical shop. One sticker in particular catches my eye, and I cease shuffling them. This sticker, with its cheery gold background and Celtic knot work border, proudly proclaims “Christianity has Pagan DNA!” Certainly the scribe of this phrase does not mean this literally, . . . → Read More: Monotheism: Who’s Your Daddy?

So, You’ve Been Accused of Witchcraft…

By Daniel Florien

So someone says that you’ve turned them into a newt. What happens next? Lapham’s Quarterly has produced this handy flowchart derived from the Malleus Maleficarum, a fifteenth century witch hunter’s book written by Heinrich Kramer.

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My 50 Favorite Stupid Statements Christians Make To Pagans

[Snip]

1. You should read the Bible. 2. So you don’t believe in God? 3. You do know you’re going to Hell, right? 4. Why would you do that to your kids? 5. Witches aren’t real!

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PHAs, MDGs, & CMS

. . . because Pagan/Heathen/Alternative Spirituality takes too long to type, and Mysterious Dead Grandmother and Cleopatra Morrison syndromes are a threat to the very polyester blend of reality

By Snooze Hamilton

I started using a couple of acronyms (that are ones I came up with) awhile back, because 1) I’m lazy and 2) . . . → Read More: PHAs, MDGs, & CMS

The History of Sam Hane

By Themon

[Snip] I have just returned from a Druidic Gorsedd where we discussed our sinister plans for our upcoming Samhain rite. For those who are unaware, a Gorsedd is a dark and secretive gathering of Druids in which we ritually sacrifice one or more food groups. Tonight we took the sharpened blade to a . . . → Read More: The History of Sam Hane

Who’s the Pagan Pope? You Are!

By Star Foster

Congratulations! As a Pagan you are automatically the final authority due to the principle of Autonomy, and are therefore a Pagan Pope. Being a Pagan Pope is a great responsibility, and do not allow the great number of Pagan Popes lead you to treat your position cavalierly. You speak for all of . . . → Read More: Who’s the Pagan Pope? You Are!

How Astrology is like Nascar

By Star Foster

Mostly nothing happens. Things just go in circles day in and day out.

People are just waiting for something exciting to happen, like a car crash or a transit of Venus.

Every sign/car has different correspondences. Dale Jr. is brought to you by Amp and Scorpio is sponsored by sex.

All . . . → Read More: How Astrology is like Nascar

5 Reasons The Greatest Movie Villain Ever is a ‘Good’ Witch

By David Dietle

When you think of The Wizard of Oz’s cast of villains, you most likely think of the flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch of the West, and maybe the pissy apple trees and the green dudes guarding the WWotW’s castle.

If you’ve seen or read ‘Wicked,’ you might have a more sympathetic . . . → Read More: 5 Reasons The Greatest Movie Villain Ever is a ‘Good’ Witch