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Pagans and Monogamy

By Patti Wigington

A reader writes in with an interesting dilemma. He says, Recently my girlfriend and I began spending a lot of time with a local coven. She is spending a lot of time (without me) in the presence of one of the group’s other male participants. She has hinted that she’s very attracted to him, and even said she wouldn’t mind sleeping with him. I objected to this because honestly, I’d like our relationship to remain monagamous, but she seems to think that since “all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” that she has carte blanche to have sex with others. I know lots of Pagans are polyamorous, but I’m not comfortable with it. Can you weigh in on this?”

Love to. Here’s the thing. If your girlfriend wants to have sex with other people, then she wants to have sex with other people. That has nothing to do with religious beliefs or not. She’s simply using Paganism – specifically, one line from the Charge of the Goddess – as justification.

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