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My Story, and How to Have a Voice

By Beth Lynch

Back when I first married Odin, I did so solely because I was in love and wanted to be loved by Him. I wanted to be His wife, His helpmeet, His home, to make a home for Him in my heart and in my immediate surroundings (wherever those might be). I wanted to be His sanctuary, His refuge, to greet Him at the door with His slippers and a drink when He returned home from work, to listen attentively to the details of His day, to fix dinner for Him. In fact, all of the old-fashioned, traditional marital roles and oaths apply here: I wanted to love, honor and obey, to be bonny and buxom in bed and at board (as the medieval English version of the wedding vows puts it). Insofar as I was able to be, I wanted to be a traditional wife, Odin’s little woman. Ten years later, all of the above is still true, and this is still the foundation of our relationship.

Despite being heterosexual, cisgendered, and an ultra-femme female at that, I had never before in my life had these particular wants and desires concerning any male. I certainly didn’t have them when I was with my ex, who had castigated me almost daily for my lack of attention to housework, for something that was just not quite right about every meal I cooked, for the money I spent, for how I spoke to his relatives, for anything he could think of that was a fault of mine, as he saw it. I had certainly never envisioned myself being in a relationship wherein I wanted to serve a man—albeit in my case it turned out to be a Man who is not mortal, nor even remotely human. Odin can be many things to many people: Muse, Ordeal Master, Initiator into the Mysteries, Shamanic Teacher, Journey Companion, Seducer, Tormentor. He has been these things for me as well; I have walked down many dark paths with Him, my hand in His, with only His voice to guide me.

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