By Andy Khouri
As it turns out, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are components of an evangelistic gospel of “outright Hinduism, occultism and humanism” that teaches children “ideals that are contrary to Christian beliefs” with subversive merchandise like “pepperoni sticks.” At least, that’s according to a group of curiously coiffed Canadian men in an early 1990s propaganda film decrying the original TMNT animated series, Vanilla Ice, Bart Simpson and other alleged evils of the ancient world.
“It’s witchcraft, pure and simple,” says one man in the film, which also objects to children’s candy in the shape of instruments used to create “rock music.” The clip was compiled by Four Four from an unearthed “VHS tape” of a propaganda film called Not Just Fun And Games which warned primitive man of the infernal dangers of children’s cartoons and assorted merchandise. It is a fascinating glimpse into an unremembered time in our distant past when humanity was first confronted with new and seemingly terrifying concepts like martial arts, anthropomorphized reptiles, and rap music.