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“Vampire King” running for Minnesota governor again

By Hart Van Denburg

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey has big ambitions. The self-described king of the vampyres just got out of an Indiana jail cell after cooling his heels on a conviction for threatening a judge. He’s resting up in Tampa before heading home to New Jersey. Come spring, he plans to move back to Minnesota to run for governor on the Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans ticket.

“I’ve got my Rochester apartment all set,” he said. “I should be back in the state by February.” He’s banking on the press showing up in huge numbers when he formally announces his candidacy. He plans to chomp the neck of a youthful female assistant, with cameras rolling. Sharkey wants to run Minnesota with medieval tough-on-crime efficiency: Child molesters, rapists, terrorists, and drug peddlers will join the likes of George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden, Mike Tyson, and Paris Hilton on his “impaling list.”

Read the original article at: City Pages

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