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Twilight, as Seen by Anne

My daughter The Spare wanted to see this vampire movie Twilight over the weekend. What was remarkable was that she agreed that I could come along. (This is a huge concession when you’re 14.) Then she invited two of her friends who I can actually tolerate. Off we toddled to Twilight.

You get to be a certain age, and some things occur to you that pass right over the head of a 14-year-old audience. Like, the entire cast of vampire high schoolers looked like they ought to be sipping pina coladas at Trader Vic’s. And who applied the makeup? Little heavy on the white powder, eh? If I were the school nurse, I’d be sending home sharply worded letters about anemia.

How do you go to high school without touching anyone all day, every day? Without being openly OCD, I mean. Surely you’re going to rub against someone in the crowded corridor. And if that someone is as cold as a corpse, you’re gonna say, “Whoa. Dude! You feel dead!”

Read the original article at: The Gods are Bored

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