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September 2006
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Job Sucks Life Out Of Vampire Teen

Billy Bloodbiter has been working at a local convenience store now for three months. Billy, a teen vampire, appreciates the opportunity–it’s a chance for him to gain valuable work experience, learn important team-building skills, and develop new relationships. He doesn’t mind the paycheques either, meager as they are, but he’s starting to regret the loss of freedom. It’s the same old thing. While Billy is spending all his time working at the store, saving up for his own customized crypt, his friends are out having their nocturnal fun, preying on humans and terrorizing the city.

“I’m stuck with these dusk-til-dawn shifts,” complained Billy. “It really gets my cold blood boiling. While Alfie [Von Blahhh] and Ross [Veindrainer] are flying around with hardly a care in the world, I’m tasked with making sure the Slurpee™ machine is full.” While most other vampires his age work as tellers at the blood bank, Billy didn’t want to get stuck in the same red-collar rut. He wanted to spread his bat wings and do something his bloodsucking brethren weren’t willing to try–retail.

Read the original article at: The Toque

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